Research published found one in five clients in consensually non-monogamous relationships said their therapist lacked the basic knowledge to help them.
WASHINGTON, DC, DC, UNITED STATES, October 5, 2026 /EINPresswire.com/ — A study published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology surveyed 249 people in consensually non-monogamous relationships across the United States and Canada about their experiences in therapy.
Roughly one in five said their therapist lacked the basic knowledge of consensual non-monogamy needed to be effective, or that they had to continually educate the therapist themselves.
The researchers also found that a client’s perception of inappropriate practice predicted whether they ended the therapeutic relationship early.
Kitty Chambliss has coached people in open and consensually non-monogamous relationships since 2015, and she says she hears about it constantly.
“Somebody finally works up the nerve to go, and then spends the first three sessions explaining what their relationship even is,” Chambliss said. “By the time they get to the thing that was actually hurting, they have run out of energy, and often out of money.”
What the research found helped
The same study found that clients rated therapists as more helpful when the therapist had educated themselves about consensual non-monogamy, held non-judgmental attitudes, and was willing to discuss the relationship structure rather than avoid it.
Nearly half of the participants reported deliberately seeking out a therapist who was affirming of consensual non-monogamy before beginning treatment. Outcomes were generally worse for those who had not.
Chambliss says that finding is the practical one.
“The people who screened first had a better experience. That is the whole lesson,” she said. “Nobody thinks to interview a therapist. You are already struggling by the time you are looking for one. But fifteen minutes of questions at the start saves months.”
What she tells people to ask
Chambliss says the screening questions are straightforward and that most therapists will answer them honestly.
Have you worked with clients in open or consensually non-monogamous relationships before, and roughly how many?
What training have you had on the subject, and when?
If my relationship structure is not the reason I am here, will you be able to leave it alone?
And what would you do if you found yourself struggling with it?
“That last one is the most useful question in the list,” Chambliss said. “A good clinician will tell you the truth. Some will say they would refer you on, and that is a fine answer. The ones to be careful of are the ones who say it would never come up.”
Where coaching ends
Chambliss is a Master Certified Coach through the International Coaching Federation, its highest coaching credential. She also holds a Certified Professional Coach designation and an Energy Leadership Index Master Practitioner certification through iPEC, a trauma-informed coaching certification through Coach Training World, and a mediator certification through Mediators Beyond Borders International.
She is not a licensed therapist, and she says the distinction is the first thing anybody should establish.
“A coach works on skills and patterns going forward. A therapist can work clinically with trauma, mental health conditions and the past in ways I cannot and should not,” she said. “Plenty of people need one, some need both, and it is worth knowing which you are looking for before you start.”
She says she turns people away regularly.
“If somebody is in crisis, or dealing with something clinical, coaching is not what they need and I will say so,” Chambliss said. “That is not me being modest. It is the line, and the people who blur it do real damage in a community that has already had enough of that.”
Why she thinks the gap persists
Chambliss says the shortage is not usually about hostility.
“Most therapists are not hostile to this. They simply were not taught it, and there has not been anywhere obvious to learn,” she said. “That is changing, and it is changing slowly, and in the meantime people are sitting in a room explaining themselves instead of being helped.”
Chambliss founded Loving Without Boundaries in 2012 and began coaching in 2015. She is the author of “Jealousy Survival Guide: How to Feel Safe, Happy, and Secure in an Open Relationship” and hosts a podcast that has run for more than 290 episodes.
Media Contact
Kitty Chambliss
info@lovingwithoutboundaries.com
lovingwithoutboundaries.com
Kitty Chambliss
Loving Without Boundaries
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